No Sugar Added, Unprocessed Banana Oat Bars

Oh what’s that? Is that Master Chef calling? You want to hire me as a consultant and pay me a million dollars a year? Now’s not a good time, but yes, I am a genius.

I have invented the world’s healthiest breakfast. After scouring the internet for something sweet and actually palatable that didn’t have flour or sugar in it, I decided I would invent my own dish.

The result, my friends, is the Unprocessed Banana Oat Bar. It has no added sugar, just uses the sweetness of bananas. The most processed grain involved is quick oats, which is renowned world over for being a healthy af breakfast. And best of all, it doesn’t taste like hot garbage or rabbit food! I promise you this recipe has been tasted and approved by even the least hippie of my friends and family.


Vegan. Gluten Free. Nut-free. No added sugar. So healthy it’s almost gross.

Here is the recipe:

3 cups quick oats

1 cup old-fashioned oats

1 cup old-fashioned oats set aside as optional topping

7-8 very ripe bananas

2 tsp vanilla extract

¼ cup apple cider vinegar

1 ½ tsp baking soda

Dash o’ salt

4 tbsp olive oil/any of your fave oils

  1. Preheat oven to 375.
  2. Peel all of the bananas and put them in a large mixing bowl. Mush them up very much.
  3. Add 3 cups quick oats, 1 cup of old fashioned oats, salt and baking soda. Stir. Don’t worry about making it look pretty or like batter. It will not.
  4. Add vanilla, oil, vinegar and stir.
  5. Pour batter in a greased 9×13 baking pan.  If you #optout of the topping, you’re done! Put it in the oven.
  6. For the topping, which is really just to make it pretty, evenly sprinkling old fashioned oats over the top of the batter. Using a fork, press the oats down into the batter slightly so they don’t just sit on top and then fall everywhere when you go to eat the bars.
  7. Bake for around 45 minutes or until just the edges become dark brown and the batter doesn’t jiggle when you shake the pan. If you use the “put a butter knife in and if it comes out clean it’s done” you will cook it forever because the gooey banana will always leave itself on the knife.

Eat and enjoy! These are surprisingly filling because the oats are full of protein and fiber, and they’re my new favorite dish to bring to potlucks and parties because they aren’t guilty enough to be a dessert, so people will actually eat them.

I will take that million dollars now, Master Chef.

Shoutout to my lovely cousin Jessica for beta-testing this recipe and letting me bully her into taking photos: