I made a thong out of an old t-shirt because my sister told me not to

If you were to ask me how this idea came to me, I would not have an answer. All I know is that here is excerpt of a real life conversation I had with my sister this weekend:

“Me: I wonder if I could make a thong out of an old t-shirt.

Sister: Oh my God. Do not do that for your blog. No.”

And that was that. 20+ years of sibling rivalry has led me to this day, and I will go to extreme lengths to piss off my baby sister. WASTE NO RESOURCES, you guys.

Did I want an excuse to post a picture of my butt on Instagram? Maybe.

 

Am I ever going to wear this thong again? Unclear. I promised myself I would wear it for however long it takes to write this post so I can come to a conclusion by the end of it. Yes, I have been known to take several days to finish things.

STEP ONE:

Find a thong that fits you and place it atop an, ideally neon-green, old work t-shirt, ideally from a company from which you did not leave on good terms. Make sure to place it at the bottom of the shirt so you have room below it.

See below:

STEP TWO:

Trace the outline of the front side of the *panty* with any old marker onto the t-shirt.  

STEP THREE:

Flip the panty over, using the crotch part as the axis (shout out to math words) and squish all the front fabric under the strings so you have the outline of just the back to trace.

Yeah, ok, I know this one will need a visual. Would I let you down? 

Gotta love lazy logo censorship:

 

STEP FOUR:

Trace that part too. Grab your scissors. Remove the panty and the outline should look like this:

As an afterthought, I do recommend being a little generous in the front because you can always cut it down if it covers too much *mons* but not the other way around. TMI? Idgaf.

STEP FIVE:

You know those bikini bottoms that tie at the waste? That is what we’re gonna do here because I was not willing to spend more than ten minutes on this thing. So, to have room for you to tie the fabric, add GENEROUS room on the strap part like so:

(I wish I had been more generous here.)

 

STEP SIX:

Cut! This part took the longest because I used the dullest scissors I could find in my house (by default.)

 

STEP SEVEN:

Assemble the *panty*

I do not recommend doing this over the sweatpant like I did, but is anyone actually going to replicate this? DM me if you do.

Just put it on your butt and tie it together so it fits. You can adjust anytime.

STEP EIGHT:

YOU ARE DONE. Post about it on the internet and put your butt on Instagram. Never do laundry again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE VERDICT: 

Will I ever wear this thong again? I have been wearing it for about 90 minutes now and I’m definitely not hating it. I tied it pretty tight and it’s not losing its shape at all or falling off of me. It’s definitely not sexy, and it somehow brings me back to Girl Scout camp, but it would definitely work in a situation in which I had no time to do laundry, but somehow did have time to cut the shit out of an old t-shirt. Let’s be honest here, I will probably wash this and wear it next time I am out of clean underwear. I foresee getting much more use out of this thong than its t-shirt ancestor. 

I am MacGyver. And I definitely pissed off my sister:

 

 

 

 

One comment

  1. Your Mother says:

    OMG!! Annie told me I had to start following your blog and sharing it.
    I am definitely returning the stuff I got at Crate and Barrel and getting you a sewing machine!

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