If you were to ask me how this idea came to me, I would not have an answer. All I know is that here is excerpt of a real life conversation I had with my sister this weekend:
“Me: I wonder if I could make a thong out of an old t-shirt.
Sister: Oh my God. Do not do that for your blog. No.”
And that was that. 20+ years of sibling rivalry has led me to this day, and I will go to extreme lengths to piss off my baby sister. WASTE NO RESOURCES, you guys.
Did I want an excuse to post a picture of my butt on Instagram? Maybe.
Am I ever going to wear this thong again? Unclear. I promised myself I would wear it for however long it takes to write this post so I can come to a conclusion by the end of it. Yes, I have been known to take several days to finish things.Read more
Walk or bike everywhere. So obvious, I really need not include it. Use your legs. You have no excuse except chafing, and they make 2 things to combat that: Gold Bond and Bermuda shorts.*
Shop locally, or at least in brick and mortar stores. Cut that Amazon habit while you can! I cannot blame you for shopping online during a blizzard, but you have no excuse not to stop for groceries while you’re walking a mile home from your day drink at 4:00 PM. Day-drinking is soooo ec0-friendly.
Repurpose old jeans into cutoffs, old shirts into crops and tanks. It is the naked season, and holes are now “sexy”. Did your favorite jeans explode right at the thigh mid-May like mine did? It’s because your legs are begging for freedom. Chop the bottom off that old work t-shirt, and take your first step toward becoming one of those Instagram girls who can confidently work out in clothes that cover less surface area than my lingerie. Plus, none of that yucky pollution coming from the garment industry!
Air condition one room at a time. Summer is the season of staying the f*ck outside the house until it’s time to sleep or wipe your sweat off with your bath towel. So do you really need the whole apartment to be a crisp 70? Keep the bedroom cool and the doors closed. Close the vents to the other rooms or leave the window units off until you’re spending a long time in there.
My roommate and I recently decided that if we’re going to live in our apartment for another year, we better decorate it. Yeah, we had lived here for a year, and there was still nothing on the walls except the below “Fuck Trump” decree leftover from the day after the election.
Let’s clarify, I am garbage and could not have cared less how much or how little stuff was on the wall. I did win the argument and my lazily resistant streamers will remain up until we have a new president. But happy wife, happy life, and I try to be a good husband to my roommate.
Here is a list of things I learned while trying to decorate my apartment on a very cheap budget: Read more
People who know me know that I do not sleep. I am chronically awake. I cannot nap. I have an unused Ambien prescription sitting in my nightstand because my roommate is too nervous that she won’t wake up if I sleepwalk into traffic. (Honestly, I’d rather her save me from binge-eating in my sleep but her causes are more noble than mine.)
I have a lot of issues. Sometimes, though, the greatest ideas come to you when you have hours and hours to just lay awake and contemplate the world every night. And sometimes you’re making your bed because you washed your sheets for the first time in… six weeks?… and genius strikes. Read more
1. Donate the money you saved on something bad to a good cause – I recently bought some extraordinarily cheap glasses from firmoo.com. They were less than $40, including expedited shipping because I am a princess and could not wait four weeks for them to get all the way here from China. A normal pair of glasses can run 10x that, so with all of the yucky guilt that came with the idea of a plane flying these glasses 22 hours first class from Shanghai, I decided to make a monthly recurring donation to GiveWell. More on that here. So basically, I get it. It’s hard not to shop at H&M sometimes. Just throw some cash at trees or something after.
Most of the time I argue for simplifying everything. If I can’t convince myself that I need something, or at least want it more than I want to save the Earth, I’m not going to buy it. And then Poor Rosie is like “oh yeah that’s the reason we didn’t buy that.” Do you believe me when I say you can save money while going green, even after I advocated spending $4.25 on a bottle of organic ketchup?
Well, this is an argument for keeping shit. Hoarding, even. (Oh God you guys, don’t start hoarding, please– that’s one of those compromise things. Please throw away all of your used tampons, etc.)
To illustrate, here is a photo of me taken in January, 2009 according to Facebook:
Online shopping is wonderful. You don’t have to leave your house to buy stuff, which cuts down on exercise (which you know I hate) and running into people you went to high school with at Target (see: how I feel about exercise).
That being said, fuck online shopping. Have you ever ordered, say, a single envelope, and received a box the size of Afghanistan with a box the size of small child inside, only to find the thing you ordered is a novelty miniature version of what you thought you were ordering, hidden inside the 35th Russian-nesting-box? I certainly have. And as a lady whose landlord doesn’t pay for recycling to get picked up, I have become keenly aware of just how much waste online shopping produces…because it’s all sitting in my kitchen in a dangerous but semi-artistic tower.
I don’t even need to mention how far that stuff has to travel to you, wasting gas and womanpower along the way. So, here is a list of tips to help you save some world without spending way more money than usual and still getting everything you want. Read more