They’re spooky, they’re a wholesome craft, they’re a great American tradition for some reason. What more could you want?
The goop that comes out of a pumpkin is the best part. It feels like you’re reaching into the pumpkin and pulling out its entrails.
Everyone loves a good roasted pumpkin seed, but I have always kind of assumed there wasn’t much to be done with those fleshy pumpkin insides.
I am a fool, and I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be. Making pie out of your freshly carved pumpkin is simply a question of popping it in the blender.
When carving your pumpkin, just try to get most of the guts you extract into a bowl or onto another sanitary surface. It’s easier said than done. Read more
So, as much as I love pop-up Halloween stores for buying creepy babies and LARP-ready lingerie, it is an incredibly wasteful tradition. We get all of these cheaply-made, plastic-wrapped costumes shipped over from China, and we over-spend on them to wear them to maybe three parties. They typically fall apart before you’re able to reuse them for Purim, much less the following Halloween.
I will die before I stop celebrating the best American holiday, so I have brainstormed a few ideas for no-waste costumes that you can probably make exclusively from stuff you already own. I have divided them into three categories. “Extremely lazy,” “make-up heavy,” and “you probably won’t get mocked for wearing this.” Eat your heart out. (spooooooooooky!)
These costumes are not pictured because they are so easy, you do not need an example.
- The Brawny Man. From the paper towel brand. Plaid flannel, jeans, a roll of paper towels. Done.
- Mr. Clean. I love cleaning mascots, you guys. Just wear a tight white t-shirt, white bottoms of some kind, and one hoop earring. Carry around a sponge or a get a bald cap, and people will totally get it. By “get it,” I mean they’ll understand how little you planned for this because you are an adult and don’t have the time or money to own a real costume
- Ninja. Dress in all black. Add a ski mask and hat if you feel extra. Cut a star out of cardboard and cover it in aluminium foil to blow your friends away with how much you’ve committed to this off-the-charts lazy costume.
While these costumes are lazy and bare bones in the clothing they require, they will call for some intermediate make-up work. Read more